Hello friends,
Thank you for reading my blog. Since only about four people read it, I decided I needed to do something else, something better. So I have joined forces with my friend Eric Van Dril, a 6'7" giant, to create a new superblog:
http://tothetin.com/
Soon, we hope to drop the wordpress and have a domain name. There is a massive amount of information up already, and more will come daily. We hope to do at least 8 posts every day.
Thank you for helping me lose my blogging virginity!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Knicks vs. Cavs Live Game Blog
LeBron James will most likely destroy the team that he wants to play for in two years. Money and fame is the most likely reason that James would like to join the rotting Knicks in the Big Apple in two years after he becomes a free agent. Knicks fans will applaud, chant "M-V-P", and expose themselves as they attempt to woo King James into replacing Quentin Richardson aka Mr. Moesha in the Knicks #23 jersey.
4:47 PM (PCT)-The crowd cheers as LeBron whips a behind the back pass to Big Z...shot missed.
4:48 PM-Basket Big Z. Wilson Chandler very aggressive early; he has taken three shots in three possessions. Big Z answers.
4:53 PM-LeBron has hit a pair of threes, and is sporting orange sneakers dedicated to New York.
4:55-Former Duke guard Chris Duhon has made two threes in a row, which seems unlikely.
4:56-Nate Robinson misses a dunk on breakaway with LeBron lurking. LeBron laughs. Timeout, Cavs 17 Knicks 16 with 5:31 left in the first quarter.
4:56-Walt Frazier is the TV color commentator for the game. No play for Mr. Grey.
4:59-Ben Wallace cans a 16 foot jumper. Very unlikely.
4:59-Al Harrington in the lineup for the Knicks. Oh good, here comes Tim Thomas. Don't look for much defense from the Knicks.
5:03-LeBron does not appear to be trying or looking to shoot early. Delonte West is jacking up shots; he is a very ugly man. Timeout, Cavs 25 Knicks 18.
5:04-Al Harrington with a rare drive to the basket, dunks the ball. Boobie Gibson in the lineup for the Cavs.
5:05-Al Harrington cans a jumper. The Knicks are still down by 10 points as Q Richardson keeps missing threes.
5:07-LeBron talks to Jay-Z during free throws. Jay-Z owns part of the Nets, but attends many Knicks games. Go figure.
5:11-End of first quarter, Cavs 34 Knicks 22. LeBron leaves the game.
5:16-Cavs 42 Knicks 22, the Cavs are on a 13-0 run led by Wally's World. Walt Frazier points out that the Cavs are "dishin and swishin" while the Knicks are "One and done."
5:18-Mike D'Antoni yells at Knicks during a timeout. D'Antoni's system might never work unless Steve Nash and Amare Stoudemire are on the court. Nate Robinson and David Lee are not very good.
5:20-The Cavs lead 46-24 as LeBron continues to rest. Make that 48-24.
5:21-The Knicks fans begin to boo loudly as Wally scores inside again. Nate Robinson throws the ball to the Knicks bench.
5:22-Bronx cheer as Q Richardson makes a three. He then forgets to play defense and Wally answers with a three to make the score 55-28.
5:24-Cavs call for time after a Duhon three.
5:27-Celeb watch after timeout. Julia Stiles is at the game! So is Spike Lee, Jay-Z and Beyonce, Q-Tip, and former Knick Bill Bradley.
5:27-LeBron is back in the game makes a three from the corner. The Knicks have a point subtracted from their total, the score is now 57-33 with 5 minutes left in the second quarter.
5:29-Nate Robinson scores on a breakaway, then grabs his crotch. The announcer happily informs the viewers that Jared Jeffries is close to returning; which probably makes Knicks fans very angry.
5:33-Delonte West dunks with two hands on a breakaway as Al Harrington watches. D'Antoni called for a technical foul. Walt Frazier's voice is soothing; he should try the lecture circuit.
5:35-The Cavs lead 59-35. Delonte West is ballin' outta control and splashes another jumper. David Lee misses a series of layups but is fouled. At one point, Lee could really jump. Now, he looks a bit pudgy.
5:37-LeBron's shoes are crazy; bright orange all over. Estimated retail price; 390 dollars.
5:40-The Knicks now trail by 31 as Big Z completes a three point play.
5:41-Halftime. The game is over and boring. The blog is over and probably boring.
4:47 PM (PCT)-The crowd cheers as LeBron whips a behind the back pass to Big Z...shot missed.
4:48 PM-Basket Big Z. Wilson Chandler very aggressive early; he has taken three shots in three possessions. Big Z answers.
4:53 PM-LeBron has hit a pair of threes, and is sporting orange sneakers dedicated to New York.
4:55-Former Duke guard Chris Duhon has made two threes in a row, which seems unlikely.
4:56-Nate Robinson misses a dunk on breakaway with LeBron lurking. LeBron laughs. Timeout, Cavs 17 Knicks 16 with 5:31 left in the first quarter.
4:56-Walt Frazier is the TV color commentator for the game. No play for Mr. Grey.
4:59-Ben Wallace cans a 16 foot jumper. Very unlikely.
4:59-Al Harrington in the lineup for the Knicks. Oh good, here comes Tim Thomas. Don't look for much defense from the Knicks.
5:03-LeBron does not appear to be trying or looking to shoot early. Delonte West is jacking up shots; he is a very ugly man. Timeout, Cavs 25 Knicks 18.
5:04-Al Harrington with a rare drive to the basket, dunks the ball. Boobie Gibson in the lineup for the Cavs.
5:05-Al Harrington cans a jumper. The Knicks are still down by 10 points as Q Richardson keeps missing threes.
5:07-LeBron talks to Jay-Z during free throws. Jay-Z owns part of the Nets, but attends many Knicks games. Go figure.
5:11-End of first quarter, Cavs 34 Knicks 22. LeBron leaves the game.
5:16-Cavs 42 Knicks 22, the Cavs are on a 13-0 run led by Wally's World. Walt Frazier points out that the Cavs are "dishin and swishin" while the Knicks are "One and done."
5:18-Mike D'Antoni yells at Knicks during a timeout. D'Antoni's system might never work unless Steve Nash and Amare Stoudemire are on the court. Nate Robinson and David Lee are not very good.
5:20-The Cavs lead 46-24 as LeBron continues to rest. Make that 48-24.
5:21-The Knicks fans begin to boo loudly as Wally scores inside again. Nate Robinson throws the ball to the Knicks bench.
5:22-Bronx cheer as Q Richardson makes a three. He then forgets to play defense and Wally answers with a three to make the score 55-28.
5:24-Cavs call for time after a Duhon three.
5:27-Celeb watch after timeout. Julia Stiles is at the game! So is Spike Lee, Jay-Z and Beyonce, Q-Tip, and former Knick Bill Bradley.
5:27-LeBron is back in the game makes a three from the corner. The Knicks have a point subtracted from their total, the score is now 57-33 with 5 minutes left in the second quarter.
5:29-Nate Robinson scores on a breakaway, then grabs his crotch. The announcer happily informs the viewers that Jared Jeffries is close to returning; which probably makes Knicks fans very angry.
5:33-Delonte West dunks with two hands on a breakaway as Al Harrington watches. D'Antoni called for a technical foul. Walt Frazier's voice is soothing; he should try the lecture circuit.
5:35-The Cavs lead 59-35. Delonte West is ballin' outta control and splashes another jumper. David Lee misses a series of layups but is fouled. At one point, Lee could really jump. Now, he looks a bit pudgy.
5:37-LeBron's shoes are crazy; bright orange all over. Estimated retail price; 390 dollars.
5:40-The Knicks now trail by 31 as Big Z completes a three point play.
5:41-Halftime. The game is over and boring. The blog is over and probably boring.
Friday, November 14, 2008
The Inaugural All Caucasian-American NBA Team
The days of Larry Bird are long gone, however the NBA still has a handful of players who are both white and from America. These players routinely thrill fans with mid-range jump shots and gritty defense. This list would be greatly enhanced of players from all of North America qualified, but Canada's Steve Nash and Mexico's Eduardo Najera are technically international players and not eligible. And before you start to wonder, Jason Kidd is also ineligible for biological reasons. Besides, he might not even be good enough to make this prestigious squad.
First-Team All Caucasian-American
Kirk Hinrich, G Chicago Bulls-Appeared on track to be an All-Star two seasons ago before injuries and inconsistent play caused the Bulls to draft budding superstar Derrick Rose. Cursed with point guard size but primarily shooting guard skills.
Mike Miller, G Minnesota T'Wolves-The South Dakota native was certainly capable of lighting it up from outside prior to growing his hair out like a fool. He is aging and his best years are probably behind him. Think Brent Barry version 2.0.
Mike Dunleavy, F Indiana Pacers-Actually a pretty good player now that he has bulked up (sort of) and matured. Has a good all-around skills and could be an All-Star if he played more aggressively. Tattoos and a shaved head to transform his appearance from British royalty to ass-beater would probably improve his game.
Brad Miller, F Sacramento Kings-The essence of the All-Caucasian team; slow, unatheletic but possesses a nice offensive game highlighted by mid-range jump shot. Just really, really slow.
Jeff Foster, C Indiana Pacers-A solid rebounder and defender who has been a steady player for a number of seasons now. Very unexciting to watch play.
Honorary Captain-The captain of the Caucasian-American team is expected to organize and lead the team, much like the role of the captain in golf's Ryder Cup. T'Wolves F Mark Madsen is an inspirational figure with terrific dance skills and limited basketball abilities.
Second Team All Caucasian-American
Steve Blake, G Portland Trail Blazers-An average player in college has worked his way to having a long NBA career. Looks like a guy who would be best suited to bagging groceries, but he is a smart point guard who will take care of the ball. If only he had more talent.
Luke Ridnour, G Milwaukee Bucks-The numbers alone give the former Oregon star this prestigious spot, even though the numbers are not very impressive. Ridnour is a good passer with little speed and quickness and a severely broke jump shot. Perhaps as a result of heavy drug use while in college, current Bucks head coach and former great Caucasian-American G Scott Skiles believes that Ridnour is better than fellow Bucks G Ramon Sessions. Go figure.
Troy Murphy, F/C Indiana Pacers-Murphy is more orange and bronze than white, so he falls to the second team. A good rebounder and capable scorer, he loves to shoot threes (and miss threes) and is very inconsistent. Less time spent in the tanning bed and more time spent working on his jump shooting could propel Murphy to a spot on the first team.
Kevin Love, F Minnesota T'Wolves-Already one of the best outlet passers in the game, Love has been compared to a young Kevin McHale...By Kevin McHale and nobody else. McHale happens to be the T'Wolves GM who traded O.J. Mayo to acquire Love, Mike Miller, and (gasp) Brian Cardinal. Although Love will probably not put up numbers like McHale, he will likely have a more productive NBA career than either Cardinal or Mark Madsen.
Spencer Hawes, C Sacramento Kings-Hawes has rebounded from a disappointing rookie campaign to post solid numbers early this season. At just 20 years of age, Hawes has a terrific upside and will likely be an All-Star in the future. It is up to Spencer Hawes to bring back the shiny luster of the caucasian-American NBA player.
Dishonorable Mention
The following players have been chosen because they have made a mockery of what it means to be a caucasian NBA player.
Brent Barry, G Houston Rockets-"Bones" wowed fans across the globe as he soared to the championship in the 1996 Slam Dunk Contest. Although a very talented player with excellent size and passing ability, Barry never reached his potential in the NBA. The feisty veteran is in his 13th season and still delights fans with an occasional three-pointer.
J.J. Redick, G Duke-Redick should still play for Duke. Overcoming limited quickness and size, he became almost completely unstoppable by his senior season. Then came the NBA. End of story.
Adam Morrison, F Gonzaga-Crustache man was less unstoppable than Redick in college, but still good enough to draw comparisons to Larry Bird. After missing all of last season, Morrison has finally cracked the Bobcats' rotation. Has the size and shooting ability to contribute in the NBA, but will probably never live up to expectations.
Brian Cardinal, F Minnesota T' Wolves-Memphis GM Jerry West felt that Cardinal's knee pads and "offensive ability" warranted a 7 year, 45 million dollar contract. Yikes. Cardinal has career averages of 6 points and 3 rebounds. Did Jerry West really draft Kobe?
Austin Croshere, C Milwaukee Bucks-A bit undersized to play center, but he has to make the team somehow. The Pacers signed Croshere to a 7 year, 51 million dollar contract extension following an excellent performance in the 2000 NBA finals against the Lakers. The former Providence star cashed in his chips and road the bench before being traded to Golden State. Somehow, he is still in the NBA.
First-Team All Caucasian-American
Kirk Hinrich, G Chicago Bulls-Appeared on track to be an All-Star two seasons ago before injuries and inconsistent play caused the Bulls to draft budding superstar Derrick Rose. Cursed with point guard size but primarily shooting guard skills.
Mike Miller, G Minnesota T'Wolves-The South Dakota native was certainly capable of lighting it up from outside prior to growing his hair out like a fool. He is aging and his best years are probably behind him. Think Brent Barry version 2.0.
Mike Dunleavy, F Indiana Pacers-Actually a pretty good player now that he has bulked up (sort of) and matured. Has a good all-around skills and could be an All-Star if he played more aggressively. Tattoos and a shaved head to transform his appearance from British royalty to ass-beater would probably improve his game.
Brad Miller, F Sacramento Kings-The essence of the All-Caucasian team; slow, unatheletic but possesses a nice offensive game highlighted by mid-range jump shot. Just really, really slow.
Jeff Foster, C Indiana Pacers-A solid rebounder and defender who has been a steady player for a number of seasons now. Very unexciting to watch play.
Honorary Captain-The captain of the Caucasian-American team is expected to organize and lead the team, much like the role of the captain in golf's Ryder Cup. T'Wolves F Mark Madsen is an inspirational figure with terrific dance skills and limited basketball abilities.
Second Team All Caucasian-American
Steve Blake, G Portland Trail Blazers-An average player in college has worked his way to having a long NBA career. Looks like a guy who would be best suited to bagging groceries, but he is a smart point guard who will take care of the ball. If only he had more talent.
Luke Ridnour, G Milwaukee Bucks-The numbers alone give the former Oregon star this prestigious spot, even though the numbers are not very impressive. Ridnour is a good passer with little speed and quickness and a severely broke jump shot. Perhaps as a result of heavy drug use while in college, current Bucks head coach and former great Caucasian-American G Scott Skiles believes that Ridnour is better than fellow Bucks G Ramon Sessions. Go figure.
Troy Murphy, F/C Indiana Pacers-Murphy is more orange and bronze than white, so he falls to the second team. A good rebounder and capable scorer, he loves to shoot threes (and miss threes) and is very inconsistent. Less time spent in the tanning bed and more time spent working on his jump shooting could propel Murphy to a spot on the first team.
Kevin Love, F Minnesota T'Wolves-Already one of the best outlet passers in the game, Love has been compared to a young Kevin McHale...By Kevin McHale and nobody else. McHale happens to be the T'Wolves GM who traded O.J. Mayo to acquire Love, Mike Miller, and (gasp) Brian Cardinal. Although Love will probably not put up numbers like McHale, he will likely have a more productive NBA career than either Cardinal or Mark Madsen.
Spencer Hawes, C Sacramento Kings-Hawes has rebounded from a disappointing rookie campaign to post solid numbers early this season. At just 20 years of age, Hawes has a terrific upside and will likely be an All-Star in the future. It is up to Spencer Hawes to bring back the shiny luster of the caucasian-American NBA player.
Dishonorable Mention
The following players have been chosen because they have made a mockery of what it means to be a caucasian NBA player.
Brent Barry, G Houston Rockets-"Bones" wowed fans across the globe as he soared to the championship in the 1996 Slam Dunk Contest. Although a very talented player with excellent size and passing ability, Barry never reached his potential in the NBA. The feisty veteran is in his 13th season and still delights fans with an occasional three-pointer.
J.J. Redick, G Duke-Redick should still play for Duke. Overcoming limited quickness and size, he became almost completely unstoppable by his senior season. Then came the NBA. End of story.
Adam Morrison, F Gonzaga-Crustache man was less unstoppable than Redick in college, but still good enough to draw comparisons to Larry Bird. After missing all of last season, Morrison has finally cracked the Bobcats' rotation. Has the size and shooting ability to contribute in the NBA, but will probably never live up to expectations.
Brian Cardinal, F Minnesota T' Wolves-Memphis GM Jerry West felt that Cardinal's knee pads and "offensive ability" warranted a 7 year, 45 million dollar contract. Yikes. Cardinal has career averages of 6 points and 3 rebounds. Did Jerry West really draft Kobe?
Austin Croshere, C Milwaukee Bucks-A bit undersized to play center, but he has to make the team somehow. The Pacers signed Croshere to a 7 year, 51 million dollar contract extension following an excellent performance in the 2000 NBA finals against the Lakers. The former Providence star cashed in his chips and road the bench before being traded to Golden State. Somehow, he is still in the NBA.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Grandpa Greg returns in Blazers win
Greg Oden returned to action Wednesday night in Miami following a two week absence while recovering from a foot injury. Rookie Rudy Fernandez scored a career-high 25 and G Brandon Roy added 22 to lead the Blazers to a 104-96 victory. Oden came off the bench to play 16 minutes and finished with 3 points, 2 rebounds and 2 blocked shots. The 42 year-old Oden appeared to be out of shape and sluggish, suggesting that he may have returned to action too soon. C Joe Pryzbilla will likely remain in the starting lineup until Oden's conditioning improves. Dwayne Wade scored 36 points and dished out 8 assists for Miami, who committed 19 turnovers in the loss.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
The Hawks are 5-0! Nobody cares.
It seems strange to mention the Hawks in the same sentence with the Lakers, but after two weeks these teams have something in common: they have yet to lose a game this season. The Hawks have a young team that is playing with tremendous defensive intensity and focus. Only the Lakers allow fewer points to opponents than the Hawks. This improved defensive focus can be attributed to the veteran leadership of G Mike Bibby, or possibly to the closing of the NBA beehive/strip joint The Gold Club following a prolonged government investigation and subsequent trial. Joe Johnson (25.2 ppg) leads the Hawks into Chicago tonight to take on the Bulls, who are battling injuries. Expect the longtime Eastern Conference doormat to improve to 6-0 with another win tonight.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Lou Holtz fails to motivate Bulls
Only four games into the season, Bulls coach Vinny Del Negro is already resorting to drastic measures to motivate his team. The rookie coach summoned long-time college football coach and current ESPN analyst Lou Holtz to address the Bulls prior to the Wednesday night's matchup against the Cavaliers. The result: A 107-93 loss marred by chaotic, uninspired play and a LeBron James layup drill. James loafed his way to 41 points, sinking 15 free-throws and driving to the basket at will. Perhaps the Bulls players were unable to understand the mush-mouth Holtz, who sounds like an elderly man talking politely while enjoying a mouth full of Motts applesauce. Del Negro's motivational tactics are admirable, but clearly are not likely to effective with most NBA players. Coming soon on the Del Negro pregame locker room speaker series: former MLB slugger Jose Canseco, former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, NFL coaching legend Mike Ditka, former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, and PGA icon John Daly.
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